We went to a local home show a month or so ago - I was interested in learning more about vacuum solar tubes for domestic hot water. There were a bunch of replacement window companies there offering the chance to win $10,000 in free windows. Knowing the dodgy state of some of our windows in this place, and the fact that for some reason I always expect to win, I signed up.
I have now had two companies call me about our 'agreed' upon date for a quote. Whatever. Come round, give me a quote, bugger off. To be honest, unless I won the windows, I would do it myself, just as I did for the windows in our old house. So now the phone conversations with both companies to confirm the quote date goes like this:
Dispatcher (rep): Are you and your wife going to be present at this meeting time?
Me: No, just me
Rep: Does your wife work?
Me: Yes
Rep: Will she be there during the meeting?
Me: No, she'll be at work
Rep: Ah, we require that both partners be there
Me: Tough
Rep: We can do this in the evenings, or at a weekend
Me: No, we do it during the week or not at all. I'm quite capable of making a decision. If you want the business...
Rep: Sorry, that's company policy
Me: Well it's my family policy not to do business with douchebags*. Good bye sir. (I made that bit up, but I wish I had said that now - so much for quick-wittedness)
So this got me thinking - they would be prepared to lose business, especially in times like this, on the premise that having only one partner there would be a waste of their time. This leads me to the following conclusions - the price would be horrifically high (evidenced by their promise of an automatic $75 off each window), and that they would be using bullying sales tactics to close the deal (which don't work on me anyway - I would be more than happy to call the cops for trespass).
As we had never owned a property in the UK I had actually forgotten that window replacement (or double-glazing, as it's known in the UK) companies were well known for their utter douchebaggery. The typical scam is that over the course of four hours, they will try to convince you that their windows (as compared to competitors' and your existing ones), will a) save you thousands in heating costs, b) will have a payback period in the single digits (5 years, yeah, more like 25 years).
They will then quote you an absurdly high figure that will suddenly be cut in half due to this week's/month's special offer (ending tonight). This allows your brain to think you're suddenly getting a great deal. Then on further haggling they call their boss who can offer you more off if you sign now, but then suddenly on getting a quote, with all the extras it's actually back higher again. And then there's the financing options...
DOUCHEBAGS.
You think I'm exaggerating. Read the comments after this blog post on the biggest companies in the UK. Tell me it's not different here. Their initial tactics would suggest otherwise. Seriously, come in, quote me a sensible value - replacing windows, especially in wood framed houses is not rocket science. Yes, it's going to cost more than me doing it, and yes, the window quality should be better than I usually buy, but it should never be that expensive. And that pay back period - unless gales blow through your windows and they can't be fixed, you are probably looking at 10 to 20 years...
* Much of my family admits to read this blog. If you are one of them, and are unaware of the meaning of douchebag, please don't go looking it up and being all shocked and disgusted. You know me, you should have known better. This image search however should give you at least an understanding of the pejorative usage of the word (arrogant with perhaps an element of malice), if not the medical.
